Parenting Advice: Bring down the Vomit Comet

Dear Wordy Girl

My two year old projectile vomits when she's angry. The appropriate response seems to be not to let her get angry. However since she's two, she gets angry just at not getting her way. As you can see these are not simple easy to give in items that I can simply say, "It's okay dear don't throw a fit, you don't have to sleep tonight or you don't have to sit in your car seat, just wander around the car while I drive on I35!"
I'm tired of cleaning up vomit! Help.

Tossing Cookies in Texas

Dear Tossie:

Wow. What a cool talent! I cannot tell you how many times I have wanted to puke on someone but couldn't because of my inferior gag reflex. What else can your daughter do? Have you considered that she might be a mutant super baby? Or else possessed...

Unfortunately, the little Barfmeister has chosen to use her powers for evil. There is only one thing to do: Make her clean it up. Little A is crafty. She has three older siblings she can study to learn how to get exactly what she wants. Where K, B and Z fail, A says, "Aha! I think I have it." Obviously, she has seen that when one of the big kids throws up, Mommy stops everything to clean up after them, get them a blankie, turn on The Little Mermaid and serve Sprite and popsicles. A has figured out that things like going to bed and riding in the car = no attention from Mommy, and throwing up = All the Mommy love you could ever want. You know this is true. So what to do?

Well, next time she spews, hand her a roll of paper towels and let her know she will be cleaning up this mess on her own. Make her change her own clothes. If you happen to be riding in the car, just hand her a package of baby wipes and tell her to get scrubbin'. True, you will probably have to go back later and finish the job to really get the carpet good and clean, but it will be well worth it to prove to A that vomit does not buy love. Which is a very, very important lesson if you ever want her to get married and move out of the house. Can you imagine what would happen if she tried that puking trick on a guy? OMG, it would be all over Facebook 8.0 in, like, two seconds.

Sincerely,

Wordy Girl

P.S. If you want to keep up with the Barfmeister and her three older sibs, check out jasonsclan.blogspot.com. You really should see the precious videos of A walking around in her purple cast like a pirate with a peg leg. Arrrgh! *splat - sound of vomit hitting Mommy's new wood floor.*