It seems I know a thing or two about parenting unruly college students. Or so my coworkers think. The other day, a coworker shared some of her family troubles with me. First, I thought to myself, "Yes! Distraction! See you in 10 minutes, stupid spreadsheets." Then, I thought, "What would I want my mom to do in this situation?" I told her what I thought she should do, she did it, and now all is well in her family. In fact, things are so good that her husband actually thanked me over the phone for counseling his wife. No lie!
I have decided this gift is too good not to share with the rest of the world. In addition to the usual menu of embarrassing moments retold, emotional laments, sermons about adoption and hilarious sarcasm, 10 Cents a Word will now offer parenting advice on a regular basis. Here are a few reasons you should send me your questions about how to raise your kids:
1) Unlike some people (who are exceptionally fertile), I have spent years preparing to be a parent. I might not be one yet, but I'm also not taking on the biggest job of my life with only nine-months' notice. Slow-and-steady wins the race, right?
2) Since I am not a parent, I have yet to make any mistakes in that department. Therefore, I have no problem pointing out others' mistakes since, let's face it, they can't judge me back. If no one points out your mistakes, how will you learn from them, people?
3) If I cannot find a solution to your parenting woes, I can at least help you find the humor in them. After all, laughter is the best medicine.
So, either leave your questions in the comments or e-mail them to me. I would prefer if you used the "Dear Abby" format and also signed the e-mail with a clever name such as "Merciless Mom in Missouri" or "Sucker in Seattle." This will be fun.
Tuesday, April 21, 2009
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3 comments:
Oh magic eight ball parental advice giver. Should my super-intelligent, wiggle-worm daughter skip third grade?
Dear Lynde,
My two month old son has recently discovered how to load up not only a diaper, but the surrounding wall, furniture, and any person standing within range. Ready, Aim, Fire - and splat, projectile poop!
I wonder if you have any home remedies for getting poop out of your arm hairs? Will this explosive behavior scar him for life and make his potty training more difficult? What is the best prevention for these brown bombs?
Messy in Minnesota
Dear Lynde
My two year old projectile vomits when she's angry. The appropriate response seems to be not to let her get angry. However since she's two, she gets angry just at not getting her way. As you can see these are not simple easy to give in items that I can simply say, "It's okay dear don't throw a fit, you don't have to sleep tonight or you don't have to sit in your car seat, just wander around the car while I drive on I35!"
Dear Lynde I'm tired of cleaning up vomit! Help.
Tossing Cookies in Texas
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